Are you struggling to find your audience or build a community?

Do you wish you had people who just get you—who energize you instead of draining you?

If so, don’t lose hope. The right people are out there—you just might be looking in the wrong place.

I learned this the hard way.

In 2008, I moved to Nashville to attend a school called Belmont University, thinking I wanted to work in the music business. But more than anything, I really just dreamed of playing in a band.

You’d think that in a city like Nashville—especially at a music school like Belmont—finding bandmates would be easy. It was for some people… but for me, it wasn’t.

I spent my entire freshman year bouncing between different bands, playing with different groups, all different types of music, trying to make something–anything–stick.

Keep in mind, this was a music school—everyone wanted to be a star. But I wasn’t chasing stardom. I just wanted to be in a band, go on tour, and make music that I actually liked. I didn’t even care about making a living off of it.

The problem was, no matter how many bands I tried to join, none of them ever really worked. Our tastes were always just too misaligned. Our personalities rarely meshed. And to be honest, looking back, I think I was saying yes to every opportunity for the wrong reason—I was a drummer, and I needed people to help pay rent on my practice space (lol).

So I kept striking out. Over and over.

It wasn’t until I connected with some guys who had grown up together in Nashville that things finally clicked. We liked the same bands, went to the same shows, had the same vision for what we wanted to create. It just made sense. And for the first time, I wasn’t playing with people just to split the rent—I was actually having fun.

And wouldn’t you know it? That was the project that took off (at least by my standards). We toured all over together, and to this day, we’re all still building things together — both in business and in music.

‍

‍

‍

‍

Here’s the thing:

For a long time, I was joining bands from a place of scarcity—taking every opportunity that came my way, even when it wasn’t a good fit. I was desperate. And I kept coming up empty.

But when I stopped trying to force it and looked beyond the immediate network I thought I was supposed to be in, I finally found my people.

All of that to say… if you’re struggling to attract the right people, maybe you just need to consider a new approach or start fishing in an entirely different pond.